Ode To Toxic Love
Once upon a time
is how I want to see
The way things started out
between this toxic love and me
So far from any fairy tale
and not exactly fun
Our time together wasn’t still
but always on the run
Through sixteen states across the land
with many saddened tears
All built upon imaginary
fallacies and fears
And still when push came hard to shove
I was right there again
Though deep within my heart I knew
this path was a dead-end
At times I thought the moment came
to say my last goodbye
And still I heard the broken plea
beg me not to try
There comes a time in all our lives
when leaving means to win
To give up power and control
and let God’s work begin
Begin to trust
develop hope
and pray for all His might
And lean on Him
and His strength
to hold on very tight
There are no words to say to thee
expressing how I feel
This toxic love knows deep inside
how hard my heart’s to steal
Commitment to this toxic love
is why I stand to fall
With no conviction under God
I hear no morals call
Need is still the driving force
that pulls me coming back
Forgiveness is so spiritual
that many humans lack
Trust can be a scary move
for two already scarred
By those who came before we met
who left us just as scarred
Yet still we stand
and here we are
right by each other’s side
And never do I want to live
inside a love that’s lied
Each morning brings a new sunrise
and with it comes the day
Whatever happened yesterday
will only just replay
What I choose to do today
will shape tomorrow’s pain
I have a choice
to heal my life
or stay locked in this chain
Still on the fifteenth of this day
we call them April showers
I hope and trust they’ll bring to May
a million budding flowers
So on this day I kneel before
this sickness without end
A defect buried in my soul
no act I can pretend
So toxic love of mine,
I need you now to know
I’ve been chained to you too long
and now it’s time to go
And when I fall again into
the arms that give no rest
You’re like a drug
that feeds the need
inside this fragile chest
I hope someday I’ll clearly see
this fracture and this cost
And run for good
to save my life
no matter what is lost
And leave behind this poisoned love,
this dark and silent prison.
And choose my life — then walk away,
and live with that decision.
