Toxic Love

Once upon a time, is how I want to see

The way things started out between this toxic guy and me

So far from yet a fairy tale and not exactly fun

Our time together wasn’t still, but always on the run

Through sixteen states across the land and lots of saddened tears 

All based upon imaginary fallacies and fears

Though nonetheless, when push met shove I was right there again

Knowing deep inside my heart this was just a dead-end

At times I thought the moment came to say my last goodbye

And still I heard the soul of his beg not to leave his side

There comes a time in all our lives when leaving means to win

To give up power and control and let God’s job begin

Begin to trust, develop hope and pray for all his might

And with each other and his strength to hold on very tight

There are no words to say to thee expressing how I feel

This toxic guy knows deep inside how hard my heart’s to steal

Commitment to this toxic guy is why I stand to fall

That no conviction under God can I hear morals call

Need is yet the driving force that keeps me coming back

Forgiveness is so spiritual that many humans lack

Trust can be a scary move to two that has been marred

By few who came before we met who left such lifelong scars

Yet still we stand and here we are right by each other’s side

Never do I want to see this love that is a lie

Each morning brings a new sunrise and with it comes the day

Whatever happened yesterday will just be a replay

What I do with this today will most affect tomorrow

I have a choice to make it good or fill it with deep sorrow

Still on the fifteenth of this day we title April showers

Will bring to May I hope and trust a million budding flowers

So on this day I kneel before this sickness that won’t end

A defect that’s inside my soul, an act I can’t pretend

Therefore, toxic guy of mine I just want you to know

I’m chained to you until it is that time for me to go

And when I land again inside the arms that give no chance to rest

You’re like a drug that matters most to this hearts fragile nest

I hope someday I’ll get a chance to see all this division

And run for good to save my life and leave this toxic prison