The Miracle of Humility
After years of being defined the black sheep, we are offered a gift many fear they don’t deserve. The turbulence of our once horrible existence inverts into a pink cloud we float on a while through the persistence of firm determination to stay sober. The roughest times with substances always on our minds soon become a memory of our jaded past. A new way to cope with life becomes foreign territory. Fear still lives on the edge of our existence as we are formally introduced to life on life’s terms for the first time as adults. We accept the good news once the obsession has been lifted; that we will survive the beating that almost took our life. However, what isn’t apparent is how long we have been absent from reality.
For a period of time, we try to impress our new peers with our ability to seem friendly even though we still despise the world and everyone in it. People pleasing can turn from a seemingly good deed into resentment almost instantly. So soon into reaching for tags of accolades we may find ourselves in debt, quickly thinking maybe we can shop our way into positive decision making. Newcomers shack up with others blinded by low self-worth only to find out that water seeks its own level. The custom-tailored idea we have penciled out for ourselves is an impossible recovery to those who want this à la carte. Many cease to realize that if we can survive staying sober long enough without relapsing we reach the bottom of a new mountain and begin to climb our way out of hell. Every other attempt at healing other than what is suggested is just a lure to try and divert us.
We want this new way of life so badly that we think maybe elbow grease will carry us to where we witness others in their recovery. Some of us get the idea that with enough service and hard work we might receive an Oscar for best effort. We spend so many years as the pincushion to the world around as permanently damaged, when we do arrive and awaken to this opportunity, all we want is to get it perfect.
Humility is the key that opens the door to accepting ourselves as we are and not for the illusion we play to the rooms to how it is we’d like to be seen. Those who think their past is unique are convinced that others who share the same space stand in judgment as they plan to run from public execution. However, it’s the very same people who reach for our chins to level our eyes we later define as real friends. They dust us off and share their experience with common miscalculations everyone experiences as newcomers.
Our new existence can only be taught to us by others who set the example. It is only through personal strife that we produce the very mortar needed to build a foundation powerful enough to withstand human error shared with others so publicly. The strength required to accept all that’s packaged with life’s disappointments redefines our thought process as we develop blind faith and continue to stay sober despite all current circumstances. As we build our new selves, we begin working with others proudly living the good advice fed to us few will ever find the courage to swallow. We pray daily to keep an open mind. Willingness becomes the inner strength needed to use these permanent tools for everlasting change. Within such priceless principles, we slowly evolve into a spiritual example for those who follow after us. Then, we freely give away this knowledge to someone who once stood in our shoes and pray that they too can survive the miracle of humility.
