By David Weitz

If your social life in the new millennium consists of hundreds of cable channels and tattle-tale tabloids that wreak a stench in what has now become typical of many American households, welcome to my rage against the machine! First, I would like to clear away the thick smog Hollywood blows into our east coast living rooms, filling them with deliberately inappropriate messages sent from the media war front. What seemed so electrifying when I was growing up has somehow transformed itself into an overdeveloped sense of veracity and competitive voyeurism. Therefore, even though I had never met Steven Adler in person, I knew the prospect of his voice being heard without the hype of a critic looking at a scorecard was much better for me than any other journalist he would meet anytime soon.

Most people know Steven Adler as the drummer from Guns N’ Roses, one of the most popular rock bands in the twentieth century. The gig Steven played, most people can only dream of living while awake. Seriously, who doesn’t fantasize about being in a rock band selling out arenas around the world? I don’t know one human being on this planet who wouldn’t want thousands of screaming fans begging for an autograph just because you’re you! How many times have you turned on the radio, only to hear a song you wish were yours, a song everyone in the world was singing? Being a rock star sure seems to be a better profession than one that requires putting on a pair of tan slacks and a crummy collared shirt five days a week.

Most Americans I know, given the choice, would leave their domestic habitat in a flash to hop a flight to anywhere just to get away from the stress of trying to be the adult they were expected to be instead of following their dream. For the most part, America’s youth sets up shop according to the only blueprint they are raised to pursue. It seems that doing what you’re told is a much better street to follow than chancing the road less traveled.

As understood by the public, the same network that once played his music videos decided to give Steven Adler a new opportunity to recollect some of his experiences from an intoxicated career laced with regret. Hesitantly but willingly, he stepped forward to address his jaded past, allowing executive producers to create a story about what it’s been like to be Steven Adler for the past twenty years. In actuality, programmed realism and the truth are two completely different reality shows.

I didn’t seek this interview to drill a famous drummer who was idolized at one time by so many teenagers. I knew walking into this that I would have to risk questioning a sensitive “pincushion” who comes with the baggage of being a public outcast. I knew I had to dig deeper than the rest if I were to reach an exhausted spirit whose heart is wary of any individual with a recorder in his right hand. Looking back now, I’m glad I don’t watch much television. It helped keep my mind open to the endless possibilities that occur once someone makes up his mind that enough is enough.

In the course of two conversations, I convinced Steven to accept the angle I wanted to report in this story. During my life, I have always strived to do things differently. I already knew that I could relate to Steven’s troubles on a level that only two addicts could recognize, regardless of the size of their bathrooms. With candid questioning, aimed directly at his heart, I pointed out our similarities to encourage him to believe that I was just a middle-class nobody seeking to hear his truth.

“So, Steven, I’m a recovering heroin addict myself.” I began. “My behaviors in active addiction were identical to yours, but my actions weren’t videotaped and publicly broadcasted in front of millions of viewers. Tell my readers what it felt like to have seen yourself on national television after you relapsed?”

“Actually, it was the best thing that ever could have happened for me,” Steven replied as we connected. “Every addict needs to be videotaped so they can see for themselves the next day what their friends and family are talking about when they have no idea.”

“Were you ashamed and embarrassed?” I asked.

“Yes, I felt a lot of shame and was very embarrassed, but it definitely woke my ass up. Unfortunately, I had to be arrested and forced into rehab. First, I did Celebrity Rehab and then a short time later I did Celebrity Sober House. When I showed up there high with heroin, tinfoil, and syringes they had me arrested that night. When I was put in front of the judge, he said to me, ‘I’m going to put you in jail for one year or you can go into rehab for ninety days.’ I mean, I might be goofy, but I’m no dummy,” Adler admitted.

Anyone recovering from the disease of addiction will tell you that hitting the bottom requires admitting complete defeat. However, some of us require much more humiliation than others. When the pain becomes immeasurable we prepare ourselves to go to any and all lengths to finally begin the recovery process. In Steven Adler’s case, it was his international fame that took him to the top of a mountain, and he could not see his way down. It was the lifestyle and the magnified ego that come along with being a rock star that makes the stakes higher for a fatality than for completing the journey back down the mountain. Nevertheless, it was witnessing himself on national television, fumbling down a flight of stairs that finally brought Steven Adler the moment of clarity that humbled him.

Like anyone trudging this road, we learn early through active twelve-step work that a lifetime of resentment and finger-pointing plays a significant role in what keeps an addict’s mind from being able to heal. Being taught to take responsibility for your actions and learning to forgive others can take a lifetime prisoner into the free world. This is the miracle those who are recovering can attest to and what Steven and I further discussed in our interview.

“Obviously, Steven, you’ve been through a lot since having been separated from your band and especially your friend, Slash, who you’ve known since you were eleven. Now that you’re sober what has your process been like to try and heal past wounds?”

“Well, for twenty years, Slash and I didn’t have a relationship,” confessed Adler. We didn’t talk, we didn’t discuss anything. He was doing his thing, I was doing my thing. So, it’s really nice to have my oldest and best friend who I accomplished so much with back in my life again.” Adler said.

“And the rest of the band?” I added.

“I got my old relationships back in my life again with, Duff, Izzy, and Axl too. I felt for twenty years that they let me down. I waited all this time for them to come and apologize to me. I finally accepted responsibility for everything that has happened in my life and realized that I needed to apologize to them. Unfortunately, it took twenty years and working with Dr. Drew and Bob Forrest to realize that they didn’t let me down. I let them down,” he added.

By this time in the interview, Steven and I were as connected as two human beings who self-proclaim the desire for change. He was no longer a violent, angry, and lonely man on top of a mountain isolated from the world that he despised. I could feel Steven enjoying our humble conversation about the obstacles to be overcome in order to establish a lifestyle that demands rigorous honesty, courage, and blind faith. By accepting the spiritual principles he needed in order to address the decades of bitterness that hindered his ability to let go of his past, he was able to jump right to the number one offender.

“I hated the way I felt, how I was living and how I treated people! I’ve been to rehab twenty-five times, and it was a waste of time because I never gave myself a chance. I was finally given another opportunity to change my life, and I took it for everything that it was worth,” Adler said.

“So what you’re saying is that resentments are what kept you sick and are the number one reason that you continued to keep getting high all these years?” I asked.

“I was angry with people who weren’t even thinking about me. I would think about how much I hated people for what they did to me when that was just another excuse to keep getting high. I really never gave myself a chance. Making amends to all the people I had wronged was such a relief! I’m forty-six years old; I’m not a teenager anymore. I better have learned something by now or I’m in trouble,” said Adler.

“And now that you’re free today from active addiction who are some of the people you speak with when you get an itch to get high or are feeling uncomfortable in your own skin?” I asked.

I call Slash, Bob Forrest, my wife, my brother. I mean, I have people back in my life now, but I lost their respect and had to prove myself. It took time for the people I loved to accept and trust me again,” Adler said.

“So what would you tell a fan of yours or a newcomer who is just getting sober?” I asked.

“Just give it a chance and be honest with yourself. Face the facts; you were the one doing drugs. No one put a needle in your arm, or a pipe in your mouth, you did it. For any addict out there trying to get sober, you got to stop hating or it’s going to take your life away from you. I mean, the littlest things are just another excuse to do drugs again. You got to grow up!” said Adler.

“What about the addict who says, ‘No matter how many times I try, I just can’t get sober.’ What would you tell an addict that says, ‘I just can’t do it?” I asked.

“You can never say ‘can’t’. If you say ‘can’t’, you might as well just roll up in a ball and die,” Adler replied.

It’s not news that active addiction carries a lifetime of disgust and personal hatred. But the only ones who can truly hear the hopeless cry for help are the ones who once carried the hopeless voice themselves. Whether you’re a rock star touring the world or the local clerk at a convenience store, those in recovery all share a common bond as addicts seeking a daily reprieve.

The fear-driven maze Steven Adler fell into required only one bad decision, and then took decades for him to find his way out. It seemed at first that his desperation was really a curse of humiliation. In truth, it was just the impetus required to finally right size himself. What the media views as entertainment is just a fuzzy version of the truth to keep you in your seat so that advertisers who spend millions of dollars can get their money’s worth. No one followed Steven Adler around for the twenty years that it took him to make it to Celebrity Rehab. And the reality is no one is going to follow him around as he processes all the crucial changes that will eventually draw him closer each day to finding his way down a mountain that took a lot longer to climb than one television season.

Personally, I don’t know many people who could have lived through Steven’s experience since it seems to demand anonymity to even consider it. Americans who are obsessed with reality television may view Steven Adler as a rock star stereotype, perfect for a Hollywood network production. However, off-camera I spoke with a man who shared with me the identical pain that I once survived in order to be able to receive the same grace. The chance to interview the person who plays the character we think we know was certainly a spiritual encounter I will not forget anytime soon. It truly is the appetite for reconstruction that only those who have been there can own.

Appetite For Reconstruction

Fine Tooned